You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
