Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
