The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
