whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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