if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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