My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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