im six kinds of drunk right now
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
