im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
