May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
