grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
she smelled like a LAN party
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
a search helicopter?!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
