can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
