What did we do last night that was yellow?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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