My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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