Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
