You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
