so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
