I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my shit smells like andre
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
