This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The power of my boobs compel you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
