while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
