once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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