Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
there's paper in my vomit.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
