i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
