It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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