i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
