between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
