Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
