HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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