my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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