officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
