I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
this boner is exhausting
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
