A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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