So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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