she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
