so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
