he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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