I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
