Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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