We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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