i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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