I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
