I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
