Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
