Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
