her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
