I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
