I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
