I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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