My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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