break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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