We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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